So, you're engaged and planning a wedding? First of all,
breathe. The first few weeks were the most overwhelming for me. Realize that you have
months to plan this shindig and you don't have to decide on every little detail right now. And it's likely that you'll change your mind about something along the way... I did many times. I thought for a long time about what advice I wanted to give and narrowed it down to four things. People write books about this topic but these are the main
(and most important) things that I learned during our planning process.
1. Prioritize your budget.
One of the very first things you need to do during this process is make a budget. Figure out how much money you'll have to work with then divide that money into categories (dress, food, flowers, photographer, etc.). It's important for you and your groom to decide what is most important and place the most money within that category. Our top three categories were photographer, decorations, and wedding attire. We both agreed to hire a photographer who we knew would be worth the money... and she was. We have hundreds of beautiful pictures from our day and they are worth every penny that we paid. I feel that it is also important for brides to take advantage of your resources. I cut costs by having family bring in dishes as our food, made our own invitations/programs, borrowed decor from family and friends, and DIY'd pretty much everything. It took time but it saved money and allowed me to use my money exactly how I wanted to.
I want to note two things. 1.) I paid for 75% of our wedding. I didn't want to put that burden on our families. I knew that I was able to pay for almost everything and I wanted to. If you are able to pay for anything, do it. 2.) Our wedding budget was under $4,000 and we were able to keep it that way. Nate and I both agreed from the start that we would not invest an insane amount of money on one day. We chose instead to put that money towards our home and my car. I have absolutely no regrets about that decision.
2. Listen to your groom (and family).
From the moment you get engaged, opinions and thoughts will be thrown at you like crazy. It can become frustrating and overwhelming at times but it's important to remember that, in most cases, these people are only giving their opinions to make your day even better. I remember there were many conversations with my family about how we would set-up everything in the barn. It was sometimes hard for me to handle all the opinions but I know my family was just trying to make sure everything would be perfect on that day. However, it's also important to stick to your guns. If you and your groom have a certain vision in mind for your day, then don't back away from it based on other's opinions. It is your day, after all.
Speaking of the groom, don't forget about him. He sometimes gets over-shadowed by the bride but he has ideas too. Originally, we had planned to get married in another barn but after some conversations with Nate, we decided to have it in the barn here on our property. It had access to electricity and a bathroom so it was the best decision. He also wanted to keep it fairly small and have it outdoors. Forunately, we had the same vision on that. I chose to include feathers, an antique rod-and-reel, and a duck figure in our decor because they all represent him. They added a special touch to everything and I loved incorporating them.
3. Be you... just a notch up.
Listen up, brides, be yourself on your wedding day. Nathan told me from the beginning that he wanted me to look like ME on our day. Don't do harsh make-up or spiral curls if that isn't you. Your groom will not be able to recognize you coming down the aisle and it's likely that you'll regret it in the years that come. I chose a half-up, soft curls hairstyle and did my own make-up on our day. It actually brought upon less stress for myself by doing my own make-up. I didn't have to worry about someone trying to understand what I was going for. I look at pictures of myself from our day and am pleased that I look like myself... just a notch up.
4. Remember what it's really all about.
The most important advice of all... this is the beginning of forever. You will be married at the end of the day to your best friend. Your groom will think you are beautiful. You will be on your way to your honeymoon. You will never remember what did go wrong... and, yes, something will go wrong.
Here's what you will remember. You will remember the first time you saw your groom on that day. You will remember the whirlwind of emotions... the laughs you shared with your bridesmaids and the tears you shared with your familiy. You will remember saying those vows and kissing your husband for the first time. You will remember every single amazing thing about that day. Enjoy it...
PS - Contrary to what many people say, you really do remember a lot from your day. I prayed for peace the night before our wedding and God gave it to me. I know that contributed to it. I checked the time often during the day and can recall what I was doing nearly every hour of that day. Nothing but happiness.
