The Battle Within

This post is dedicated to Beth Moore's new book "So Long, Insecurity". I have just a little bit left and plan to completely finish it over the weekend. Therefore, next week I will update you once again after I've finished the 'journey' -- as Beth calls it. I want to apologize in advance for what I'm sure will be a very scattered post. My thoughts come to me at random times, and in order to remember them, I must write (or type) them immediately. I will do my best to keep some sort of organization to make it easier to follow along. I hope this post enlightens you and encourages you to tackle your battle with insecurity.


I think it's only fair for me to start off by telling you some of my insecurities. These will not go into too much detail because I am a private person and intend for some things to stay that way. I have to say that I love my life and the people in it. I'm happy with where my schooling is taking me and I look forward everyday to becoming a teacher! But this one insecurity tears me apart sometimes. It makes me second guess everything I do at times. I believe my insecurity is probably THE most common in women - my appearance. To be specific, my weight. It's those 8 - 10 vanity pounds (that I've lost and found more times than I can count) that drive me up the wall. My mom started Weight Watchers many years ago and I followed the plan with her. Doing this at such an early age has instilled SO many good habits in myself. I have learned the right food choices and that exercise benefits you in so many ways. I also know that every now and then it's okay to "splurge" and live a little. Beth talks about in her book that most women tend to tie one thing with being secure. That one thing to me is losing those vanity pounds. Beth also talks about how society plays such a crucial role in how we view ourselves. I would like to think that society is a lot of the reason I'm so hard on myself for wanting to lose those vanity pounds. I feel my generation of girls is one of the first to deal with the media craze of looking flawless. We spend billions of dollars each year trying to look flawless. And ya know what, I'm tired of it! God didn't create us to be flawless people. He created us to be ourself. Everywhere I turn there's a magazine, TV show, or movie with someone I compare myself to. Why do I let the Devil do that to me?! We're setting ourselves up for failure because we will NEVER be someone else. I would love to wake up one morning and never have to look at these thunder thighs again. But, for some reason, God wants me to have them so I'll just get used to it. As much as I would like to blame our society for my insecurity, I also have to take some credit myself. I could just as easily block the Devil from allowing insecure thoughts into my head. But until I read this book I didn't know how to. The chapter I just finished reading gave simple strategies for blocking those thoughts out of your head. I have already used some today :) The most important thing I've learned is that being secure doesn't always mean being happy 100% of the time. We can still be upset, hurt, or angry without being insecure. The book talks about how to deal with these issues. It's a very good concept to learn. I feel that women think we have to put on this smiling mask all the time to be secure, but how realistic is that?!

Ever since I've started reading this book I can feel that God is trying to change these issues in my life. Not because it's getting easier... because it's getting harder. The Devil knows I am educating myself on how to ignore him and allow God to make me secure. My insecurity has been sky high since I started this book but I'm dealing with it. The Devil can say what he wants... I'm turning it over to God. I know the end result is worth a little struggle right now. If you decide to read this book, don't give up when you have this feeling. Just remember there's always rain before the rainbow!

I could say so many more wonderful things about this book but I don't want to give it all away -- go buy it for yourself and see what changes you experience! I promise that if you take each word to heart you will become a more secure you. Heck, I'm even starting to like these thunder thighs. Oh yeah, I said it ;)

Let me say that I DO NOT want your sympathy or compliments from this post. I'm not doing this to hear praise and build my self esteem from a blog post. Not at all. The book did that for me. I'm simply raising the awareness of this book so people can learn just as much as I did. I'm just including my insecurity to sort-of tie things together.

Laugh about something today :)
--K